Talk:National Council of La Raza

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 Definition:  Please add a brief definition or description.
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 Workgroup category:  politics [Please add or review categories]
 Talk Archive:  none  English language variant:  American English
To do.

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First (instructor) evaluation comments

Hi Jake,

Here are some suggestions for further revisions to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the sections you've already been developing; keep in mind, though, that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages.

  • The intro is solid overall, though a bit disjointed; you might see what you can do to make the sentences flow more smoothly. Alternatively, you might just split it into two paragraphs: One with the general overview of where the NCLR came from, and one with the overview of its priorities and structure.
  • I really like how you situate the NCLR's founding in the context of the civil rights movement, though you might explain some developments a bit more clearly. For example, why didn't the Ford Foundation like the UCLA research findings? How did the second study group differ from the first?
  • You might develop the "History" section further by adding additional subsections chronicling the organization's development since the 1970s.
  • Both the "organizational structure" and (especially) "achievements" sections would benefit from more elaboration.
  • The "Public perception and controversies" looks like it's off to a good start but trails off abruptly (and apparently inadvertently).
  • Throughout the entry, you might put double square brackets (i.e. [[ ]]) around key terms to create links to related Citizendium entries (whether they already exist or not); e.g. Ford Foundation, Herman Gallegos, United Auto Workers

Shamira Gelbman 22:04, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

Second (peer) evaluation comments

Your topic is interesting, however, there is not a lot of information. I had to research a lot more to write my opinion paper from your encyclopedia article.

I liked how you included some aspects of its history. I think this is an organization with a lot of potential to be more popular.

The NCLR has achieved much more than what you have listed. I discovered that they have created various programs for Hispanic kids in order to give them a chance at education/jobs that they may not have had previously.

I think you should develop each paragraph/subtopic of your article more, so more people can learn about your group (especially the public perceptions part; I think that part would be one of the more interesting aspects of your article. This group is seen as being very controversial to Republicans).

Also, if you can find a picture of the NCLR's logo, you should replace the Microsoft logo with that.

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